Totally correct rankings of all 211 Taylor Swift songs

“You know what would be a great use of your time and energy?”, my brain asked me one day about a month ago.
“No, I really do not”, I replied.
“You should rank every Taylor Swift song ever.”
“…Yeah, okay, that sounds reasonable.”

Many days, much listening, and a ton of head-scratching later, I came up with this list, one that I can only describe as 100% true, accurate, and perfect.

Then I got another idea, and decided to write something about every single song on the list.

As it turns out, I severely underestimated just how many 211 songs actually are when you have to write about them all.

[By the way: Hi! I’m a Swede who, about a decade ago, used to talk about movies right here on this blog. Then I stopped doing that for various reasons. This post is only the tiniest bit movie-related (Taylor has done a few soundtrack songs here and there), but I had to post it somewhere, and there’s not much point starting a whole new blog just for what will likely be a one-off idea. For any old readers who were hoping for hot spicy movie takes from me (John Wick is overrated, by the way), I’m sorry to have to disappoint you. If you want some hot spicy T-Swizzle takes, on the other hand, you’re in for a treat!]

To set the scene here: I am a big fan of Taylor Swift. I first discovered her music around 2013-ish, became a big fan around 2016, and it hasn’t let up since. She is pretty handily my favorite artist, to a level that no others have ever reached. She’s a good singer, and working with top-shelf producers like she tends to do assures that the actual music is great too. That said, more than anything, it’s her writing that makes her truly special in my book. She hits that sweet spot of emotional depth while maintaining relatability. She writes with flair and flourishes that feel distinctively her, yet always in an approachable way. She has changed throughout her career, growing in ability while exploring different genres of music, and while hardly everything has been stuff I love, I’m always eager to see what she comes out with next. I may not like all her songs, and I may criticize her when appropriate, but rest assured that it all comes from a place of respect.

What I’m saying is that it’s no random chance that I do a project like this specifically about Taylor.

So. This list. The title here says “all 211 Taylor Swift songs”, which isn’t entirely accurate. What it actually means is “all 211 studio-recorded songs by or featuring Taylor Swift that are on Spotify”. So no leaks, and no songs that are were only recorded live. Basically, I restricted myself like this because Spotify is where I organize all my music listening, and if I were going to add non-Spotify stuff to the list, I would only confuse myself. I think the only real omissions are the exclusive songs from her Beautiful Eyes EP (“Beautiful Eyes” and “I Heart ?”), as well as “Hits Different”, the Target exclusive bonus track on Midnights. I do the vast majority of my music listening through Spotify, so I just don’t listen to those songs enough to rank them properly. The Beautiful Eyes songs are both kind of mid though, and “Hits Different” just a bit above that.

I also don’t include more than one version of each song. They’ll be listed by their original versions, and if there is another version I prefer, I’ll mention it in the text. So no extra entries for Taylor’s Versions of regular songs, Dancing Witch Elvira Remixes, 10 minute versions, or similar.

Oh, and an important disclaimer: THIS IS ALL JUST MY OPINION. I might say that a song is good, or a song is bad, but those are just my subjective views, and not objective facts. I will love some songs that you hate, and hate some songs that you love, and that’s fine. This should all go without saying, but one can never be too careful on the internet.

That said, this list is still 100% true, accurate, and perfect. That’s just how it is.

There will be Youtube videos for certain songs inserted in this blog post. For every other song, you can click on its title to go to it on Youtube. And if you prefer Spotify, a playlist link can be found at the very end of this post.

Now, without further ado, let’s get started. From the worst to the best. Settle in, because we’re going to be here for a while.

211. Only The Young
(2020)

The problem I just now realized with doing the list in this order is that I have to start out by talking about all the bad stuff about Taylor. Which isn’t very fun. Plus, it might give off the impression that I don’t like Taylor’s music much, which is ridiculously far from the truth. So please just stick with me here. I promise we’ll get to the good stuff soon enough.

Speaking of good stuff: let’s talk about politics! I think it’s great that Taylor uses her platform to encourage her fans to vote and get involved politically. Considering the size and relative youth of her fanbase, it’s something that can really make a difference. And, personally, I’m glad that Taylor shares a lot of my own political leanings.

It’s just unfortunate that her occasional dabbling in political matters hardly ever leads to, you know, good music. And nowhere is this more apparent than in “Only The Young”. Yes, the message here is to be applauded, but it’s presented in such a cheesy, cloying, and overbearing way. Nothing about this whole endeavor doesn’t make me cringe, and that’s before the goddamn children’s choir even kicks in, which is when I just tap out entirely. This is, for my money, the absolute worst song she has ever made.

210. Christmas Must Mean Something More
(The Taylor Swift Holiday Collection, 2008)

Almost two decades ago, I worked in a supermarket during the holidays one year. Ever since, I just can’t stand Christmas music. Add in my general distaste for religious worship matters in music, and you end up with the perfect blend to make this song flop completely for me. Here a young Taylor tries to make people realize that Christmas shouldn’t just be about presents, and that what truly matters is actually Jesus Christ. “Here’s to the birthday boy who saved our lives” might well be the worst line she has ever written.

209. Birch [Big Red Machine feat. Taylor Swift]
(How Long Do You Think It’s Gonna Last?, 2021)

From bile-inducing, we now move on to painfully dull. I honestly didn’t even know this song existed until I started doing this project. Recent frequent Taylor collaborators Aaron Dessner and Justin Vernon, who make up the duo Big Red Machine, have lots of great music in their repertoires, but this tune is not only droning and boring, but also way too long; at 5:30, it overstays its welcome by about 5:25. One saving grace is that you can barely hear Taylor on it, which makes it an easy song to ignore even for hardcore Swifties.